Getting your head straight – Email 1

The first email of many popped in to my inbox shortly after my last post asking Uncle Gav for some advice.

“hi uncle gav… i stumbled on your website, you do seem really straight forward. you remind me of my uncles. : )

i do need to get things of my chest ive been depressed in the last 2 months. nothing in particular reason for that but its like a never ending nervous breakdown. i cry everytime, no reason why
i have no energy to do anything i get mad, sad, angry, depressed, cry suddenly and im scared my boyfriend will get tired of me i get jealous lately too. crazy jealous.

over his friends, host-family (we’re international student so he’s living with a host family) and he has a house mate. a girl which i really despise. i have a feeling she flirts with him and she doesnt really like me because i “took” him away from them (theyve were close) but i thought “heck, its not even his REAL family.so what?” he doesnt need to spend time with them, have dinners, go fishing and all,right?
but i also realized maybe its ME. ive been possesing him alot.

duh i feel so stupid

but if you have time, please reply..
thanks”

Uncle Gav Replies…

First things first, you’re not stupid. There is nothing wrong with asking an opinion from someone else or for asking advice. Getting things off your chest is one of the first things you can do to get your back on the straight and narrow.

You say you’re stressed and you don’t know what is the matter. Sit down with a pen and paper and write down what areas of your life are hindering you and which parts of your life you enjoy. If it’s school or work that you either hate or enjoy, write down what it is about them that you like.

Talk with your boyfriend about what is bothering you, if he’s got a brain he’ll be able to sit down with you and talk things over and understand what you are talking about. Another thing to do is get yourself to your local gym, not because you need it but it’s the easiest way to unleash any bad feelings you have everyday, go for a run or any other physical activity that you like doing that you can get your head in to and enjoy.

Jealousy – The root of all evil. You don’t have to be jealous, your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be. No matter how much this girl tries to flirt, if your boyfriend loves you this will have no effect whatsoever. Don’t waste your time on how she feels jealous about you and him, it’s a complete waste of your own energy. Just keep your chin up and act absolutely normal around her, you may never know once she realises how much of a nice person you are, you may actually get to like her. (Believe me this actually may happen).

With regards to the host-family, he still lives with them every day so the connection is still there, he will or will be obliged to spend time with them at some point. Don’t worry about it, go round and spend some time with them also. Just stay chilled out, don’t try and fight the world all at once.

Be careful being possesive, you have your life, he has his. Find the happy medium and take life as it comes, yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. Don’t worry about what may happen as over your lifetime a lot will. Things are there to test everyone, but it’s just a test.

Keep your chin up and stay happy, find something you enjoy doing and start loving life. Tomorrow is a brand new day!

Take Care.

Gav