You are not going to start dating THAT friend

People get crushes, it’s that excitable part before you ask a girl out. It can be diagnosed by the over-reactive thought process you have about her followed by the non-stop descriptions to your friends and family. You’re like a giddy little kid with a new toy, I’m not mocking you as EVERYONE has been through it.

It’s hard for a guy to see a girl as “just a friend” and even if you do say it you’re really not meaning it. There will be one or two times in your life when you’re ACTUALLY friends and you wouldn’t want to take things further, this usually happens because they’re just not your ‘type’ and definitely don’t flick your switch.

Let us build a scenario. Imagine a guy called Dick, yup that you! And Jane, Jane is the girl you work with and you’ve been working with Jane for about 2 years. You’re friends with Jane, you go to work parties, you meet up for coffee or go to the cinema together. Those all sound like normal friend things to do don’t they. Jane’s thinking about the whole thing is that you’re friends and she doesn’t want anything else to happen. She’s the girl you can talk to when you’re down, you can text her when you’ve done something funny and she has no hesitation in calling you a friend.

From Dick’s point of view he’s known Jane for 2 years, he got to know her and as soon as he thought they got along ok he’d like to take things further.

The Problem: If he was to walk up to Jane and ask her out on a date the friendship would be lost forever.

Why?: Girls just don’t have the same mental positioning as us men.

There is a theory behind what happens called the ‘Ladder Theory‘.

As always Uncle Gav is looking to hear from you, if you’ve got any issues or concerns that you want to ask him about just let him know.