When things seem all ok but you’re in constant disagreement with each other and/or arguing all the time then do you really think thats the way its supposed to be? You have to step back and realise that you maybe are not meant for each other, could you see yourself living your life alongside the person you’re busy shouting at? I very much doubt it.

Bite the bullet and end things, bollocks to all that having a break crap, just realise that you’re not actually meant to be together. I’ll tell you now that there will be someone else in the world that you’ll love for the rest of your life and arguments will become a thing of the past.

If you are in hell, for whatever reason I’m going to shout at you.

SNAP OUT OF IT!

I certainly don’t want you to be in hell and neither do your loved ones. You’re going to sit and mope around thinking the world is against you instead of fighting to get out of the hole you’re in! People all to often have a defensive reaction when things are against them, it’s definitely a part of flight or fight and it can be a persons undoing.

A bit of advice. When you think you’re in hell, stop and think for a minute.

• Take yourself away and gather your thoughts as things are never as bad as they seem.
• Find all those positives out of negatives (they are there).
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help, there will have been 1000′s of people who’ve been in the same shoes as you.
• Talk things through with a friend.
• Seek help from elsewhere (Citizens Advice Bureau CAB)
• Money tips from moneysavingexpert.com
• Go and see your bank manager
• Google it (no joke – you may just find an answer)

In the same way as soldiers advance out of an ambush, people should run like the wind from hell. It’s a depressive state that could hold you for months if not years. Get out of it fast, fight your way free and leave hell a long way behind.

What Might Happen

My daughter (if I have one) would gather too much attention from the boys and I’d team up and go Martin Lawrence and Will Smith (Bad Boys 2 Stylee) on them, because of this I have promised that my daughter will be banned from leaving the house until she’s at least 21/22 years old so that the boys cannot get anywhere near her.

My son, because the rules would be slightly more lenient would end up becoming a male whore floating round various girls at once. If this does happen my son would be taken to one side for a “one to one” chat which would only go ONE WAY, from me to him. I grew up with very high morals, and if he doesn’t follow the same example he’s in for one short sharp shock!

The one thing you cannot help, or find out about if you go away on holiday without the kids is if they decide to get frisky on mum and dads bed. I was asked why I thought the kids would even do this, and it one sentence I answered it;

“Because kids tend to grow up with single beds, and I’d purposefully keep my kids in single beds so that they would avoid the thought of bringing “other halves” home to go all night long..> and if we were away from home for the night they’d blatantly take advantage of the bigger bed?”

Of course if you think of this a bit more clearly it is quite correct it’s something they’d blatantly do!

What is my quick fix for this happening you ask? I’d leave one FULL set of bedding in a location which the kids knew about, if they DO ANYTHING in that bed, I want all smells, linen and clothing to be gone ASAP before I get back with the freshest set of bed linen they could find. I’d still fine them for about 3 months of their life afterwards with various punishments however that’s all the fun of being a parent.

So what is the advice? Somethings you cannot control, just take every precaution for the after affects and everything should be fine!

As always Uncle Gav is looking to hear from my readers, you can get in touch by heading over to the contact page and use the details provided!

I started watching the program out of interest mainly due to the psychological background of where ADHD comes from and how the children and parents/carers coped with each other. I didn’t know much about ADHD and how it affected people until I started watching the program.

I shortly realised that it brought back some very harsh realities of my youth. I always knew I had certain issues but when I was younger, all this ADHD and other disorders were not around. You were simply a problem child and a nightmare to live with.

The pain that these kids were going through on the TV was not because they were little shits, but because of the disorder they have. They needed to be understood before they were pinned to the floor or locked in a room. I watched the program for another 5-10 minutes before I literally had to get in to another room away from the TV to calm down. I was angry but also emotional.

I’ve been through what they were going through, it’s not nice and when no-one else understands it and wants to pin you down on the floor it certainly not going to do any good. I used to sit for 7 hours just toying with the thought of anger and pain and would have preferred either.

I cannot stress enough that the kids DID NOT want to go through what they were, they may say some dreadful things when having a “moment” as I call it, but that’s it. It’s a moment in their life which they can’t control, it’s out of their hands.

As always, Uncle Gav is looking to hear from Parents or others who suffer from ADHD or other disorders that are looking for advice or just somewhere to talk over what they’re going through. Please head over to the contact page to get in touch via the email address provided.

A few things that happen are;

• Moving out of home when you’re 17 (Usually a girl thing, boys have more sense).
• You’re first relationship even though it seems great is probably not the only one you’re going to have.
• You will have wanted the perfect job for years and you’ll end up doing something totally different.
• Money isn’t everything.
• If you are bullied at school in any shape or form, it will stop!

MOVING OUT

Think about it… Parents are there to support you until you can financially stand on your own two feet. Get yourself a job, get out in to the real world and see what it’s like to have money and where to spend or invest it. Don’t think about moving out too early, you will end up spending money rather than saving it and not being able to do things that your friends are doing. Learn how to live with your parents whilst you’re growing up instead of trying to fight for independence far too early.

FIRST RELATIONSHIP

Although it would be nice to have your first relationship be the one that will last, this is generally not the case. Yes it happened for the older generations but life was different back then. Lives weren’t as busy for both the man and woman, there wasn’t as much independence for everyone involved.

If the first relationship is “the one” then so be it. If you think it’s going to last and then it doesn’t don’t worry about it! You’re young, you have your WHOLE life to live. Treat it as a learning time in your life to see what you want in a relationship. Believe me, there is someone out there for everyone and when it happens it will happen and I’ll put a tiny little bet on that it happens when you least expect it.

PERFECT JOB

I had a number of jobs, in fact I had a number of VERT diverse jobs before the one I am in now. Every single job I have learnt from. They help me a lot in my job today. If you manage to get your perfect job first time, great! If not, plan ahead. You know where you want to go so plan how you are going to get there.

MONEY

Money isn’t everything. Having a lot of money would be great, you could do everything you ever wanted but what are you going to do when you’ve done it all. Boredom will set in. Think hard about doing things that seem great when it comes to your finances against how well you are going to feel about doing it. Sometimes a lesser paid job will make you happier than the higher paid.

Think hard about what you want in life!

BULLIED?

I was bullied at school. Quite a lot in fact and it happened right up until I was in senior school. Then all of a sudden it stopped. I didn’t do anything different, the other people changed. Don’t ever think that you’re going to be picked on or bullied all of our life because you won’t. I will go in to the bullying subject more some other time as I feel strongly about it. Just keep your chin up, everything will work out!

Don’t worry about life, it will pass you by and you won’t realise how much time has passed. By the time that has happened everything will be great!

You can ask any questions you like by sending me an email.